Pistons in Seven!!

Fuck yeah, my brothers and sisters! The Motor City is gonna have their second championship in as many years. Love it.

We Are Deeply Fucked

I'm a little late with this, but I still think it's worth posting. It's from a series of interviews that the Atlantic Monthly's Neil Bowden conducted with former Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz, who, I'm sure we all can remember was one of the major architects of the war, not to mention one of its loudest and most determined cheerleaders. This excerpt is taken from an interview conducted in November of 2004, just a tad over a year and a half since the invasion took place:

"You were one of those who was most emphatic prior to going into Iraq that Saddam had stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction."

"I don't think so."

"I can quote you."

"Okay."

I read him a line from an op-ed article under his byline in the British newspaper The Independent for January 30, 2003:

"There is incontrovertible evidence that the Iraqi regime still possesses such weapons." Wolfowitz had spoken in the same terms on numerous occasions.

"'Incontrovertible evidence' is a pretty strong way of putting it," I said. "How did you feel when you found out they didn't have such weapons?"

"Well, I don't think they don't," he said. "You say it turned out they didn't. By the way, read me the quote again."

I did so. Wolfowitz said he needed to go back and review his prior statements.

"But clearly you believed they had stockpiles of such weapons?"

"You are putting the word 'stockpiles' in," he said.

He was right: "stockpiles" was my word.

This deadpan comedy is wonderful-- post-Orwellian absurdism at its finest. I love how he sneaks in the "sly" self-exculpation by claiming that he in fact still believes Iraq has these weapons. Back in the real world... Oh, I forgot-- the Republicans clearly have been furiously poring over all forms of postmodern theory since at least the first gulf war. They must relish and wholeheartedly agree with Baudrillard's famous pronouncement about that ancient (ancient!) half-assed, pussy-ass foray into the region where we let the bad guy live and didn't turn the desert into glass or anything, when he said: "The Gulf War did not take place." That's right, the first gulf war did not take place. It did not take place, obviously, for if it did, why would we need to invade again? And why did we need to invade again? Certainly not because we went around arguing to the media and to other countries and their intelligence agencies, and, really, anyone that would listen, that Saddam had stockpiles of weapons before this, the only, Iraq war. We never claimed that. Why would we? Even though, for reals, he does have these weapons.

I suppose this disproves the Peter Principle once and for all, being that Wolfie has already moved on from his old digs in the Department of Defense. Now he'll be calling the shots for the World Bank. Expect him to have no hand in causing the next great global depression.

Your Daily Emetic

Don't read this post by Kevin Drum unless your spittoon is in range to be blasted by a mass of projectile vomitus.

If I Were a Dead Russian Composer

If I were a Dead Russian Composer, I too would be Dmitri Shostakovich!

I am a shy, nervous, unassuming, fidgety, and stuttery little person who began composing the same year I started music lessons of any sort. I wrote the first of my fifteen symphonies at age 18, and my second opera, "Lady Macbeth of the Mtsensk District," when I was only 26. Unfortunately, Stalin hated the opera, and put me on the Enemy Of The People List for life. I nevertheless kept composing the works I wanted to write in private; some of my vocal cycles and 15 string quartets mock the Soviet System in notes. And I somehow was NOT killed in the process! And Harry Potter(c) stole my glasses and broke them!

Who would you be? Dead Russian Composer Personality Test

[ Via Majikthise ]

Spurs in Six

Yep. That's my prediction. Too many weapons, too much depth. And the Pistons, despite having the best starting five in the game, had trouble closing out a battered Heats team that's really just a two-hit wonder. Look for them to be able to neutralize Parker, though, and even to a surprising degree, Duncan-- but Ginobli will get his; Horry will pull some magical bullshit out of his playoff ass; Bowan will hit some big threes; Mohammed will have some good games-- too much offense and too much defense. But I'll be rooting for the Pistons, the Spurs having taken out the Suns and all.

James Wolcott

Read this post. This guy must be the fantastical love child of H.L. Mencken and Dorothy Parker.

Horrible

This is pathetic. On May 20 John Kerry signed a form allowing the release of his "undeleted" military and medical records. Well, as predicted, they expose him to be a highly commended officer in the Navy-- commended by some of the very same folks who were maligning his good name-- just as anyone with a fucking gram of gray matter could have told you. The problem is that the Swift Boat Cocksuckers for Falsity damaged his campaign, and badly. Why in the name of God did he not authorize the release of these records at a moment when the outcome of the election hung in the balance?

Damn Iowans. Next time have some guts.

[ Via Kos ]